Everyone seems to know why longing before the holiday gnaws longing for rest: “there is no clearance at work.” But why psychologists observe a surge of depression immediately after returning to work from vacation, says a psychologist
DEPRESSION AFTER THE HOLIDAYS: WHY IT HAPPENS AND HOW TO BEAT IT
How to spend the holidays, to return home, to enjoy the memories, and not to drink a sedative, we talked with family psychologist Natalia VARSKAYA.
- Reason 1: High Expectations
For example, I wanted to go to Spain, but I only have enough money for Gelendzhik or Anapa. And this is not at all …
– What should I do to make sure I like the vacation? Write down your strengths and weaknesses on paper. Two columns. In the left so honestly and write, for example: “I have little money.” Ponder this phrase. You put the amount that you can allocate for vacation. And recognize: 1) it is necessary to proceed from this amount; 2) pleasure during the holidays is not very dependent on money. Many travel a budget, even with tents, and are satisfied. Everything is inside us: what kind of mood a person brought on vacation, and with that time he will spend it.
– And if the weather is bad? She does not depend on the person.
– We must agree with ourselves once and for all: if we cannot influence some things (weather, natural phenomena), we must stop reflexing about this. Shower? Go to the pool. No pool nearby? Look out the window and understand: rain will not last forever (of course, if you didn’t choose a trip to Thailand during the rainy season). I must say thank you already for the fact that you breathe on vacation is not the same air that you have in the gassed city. One must eventually acquire the habit of being grateful to everything.
- Reason 2: Love Not Found
For some, vacation is the goal to find a companion, but he/she is not located.
– In fact, do not give yourself any installations on vacation, do not wait for fateful meetings. Let it ride. Moreover, women who are looking for have a rather unpleasant look – with an appraising look, as Gosha said from the movie “Moscow Doesn’t Believe in Tears.”
- Reason 3: Interests Do Not Match
For example, a woman decides: “I will do everything the way it will be more interesting not for me, but for my children, my husband …” At the campsite near Astrakhan, the author came into contact with a family that travels 13 years from Chelyabinsk only there! The husband is fishing, but the daughter and his wife just do not know what to do …
– There is one of two things: either relax and enjoy or protest. First, the wife can try to love this fishing, get carried away; by the way, this is indeed an exciting thing. I had a case when the spouse was so involved in fishing that her husband can no longer pull her away. If you do something for a loved one, do it with joy and voluntarily. No one needs victims. Does Dad go fishing? Good! And my daughter and I are at the resort. No money for a resort? Let’s calculate how much is spent on us with our daughter, if we go with you under Astrakhan, and try to meet the same amount, having gone to another place.
- Reason 4: Contrast between vacation and work routine
It is bad if a person returns to unloved work, because even people on holiday, even in spite of the brightest emotions, miss their beloved.
– Well, if work is unloved, you need to find something that you personally enthrall. For example, a hobby: you will wait for Wednesday, at last, to go dancing or on Thursday – to engage in floristics. Then there will be no such contrast between the holidays, where you are engaged in something, and routine.
– There is such a piece of common advice: so that there is no post-holiday depression; we must return a few days before work …
– There is a rational grain in it, but not for everyone. Someone, on the contrary, is easier from the ship directly to the ball.
- Reason 5: There is no money left
For example: after the holiday I wanted to buy good perfume for my wife for my birthday, but it turns out that more was spent on the holiday than they were going to.
– Let the person praise for this, do not worry! This is an objective thing: when there is no money, it becomes sad. It may be advisable to distribute the budget, but not everyone, alas, can learn this. We must accept: there is no money now, but there will be later. You can reconsider the photo from the holiday: here, they say, how beautiful it was here, it means that the money was not spent in vain. Although … there is a risk that someone will look at the pictures and think: why should I have squandered my blood on it ?! Just some like to nurse and be all unhappy. This is their way of being. They have such an empty pastime that they fill it with negative. Otherwise, they don’t understand what else to talk about with people.
– Do not trust social networks
– One of my clients went to Africa with a company of friends – the psychologist says. – And I posted myself on the social network: here it is against the background of a waterfall, against the background of a picturesque cliff … And then I told the truth: it’s all about photoshop, with which he cleaned up huge queues of tourists before and after him. And another blue tint of water (in fact, it was muddy). Here you have a picture on the Internet. So do not be in a hurry to envy the photos and admiring stories in social networks!
We use positive moments
– At the very beginning, speaking about the overestimated expectations, we painted on paper the pros and cons of the upcoming holiday. And here it is over. And you can apply the principle of paper after the holidays?
– Paper is a useful thing. Here, for example, a person is upset after a vacation. He sits down and writes in the left column what the negative happened. For example: “Everything was boring.” In another column – what was the use of the vacation, for example: “One evening, I met a snake tamer.” And then let him think about how to use the positive moments. Someone, maybe, will write about it on the social network, someone will draw a picture – and discover the abilities of the artist. Someone will study more deeply the area in which he was. It is necessary to extend this positive feeling further into your life.
Conclusion On Depression after the holidays: Why it happens and how to beat it
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